Fred Flintstone had his fair share of Brontosaurus ribs, but the rest of us neanderthals are on the constant prowl for prehistoric cuts of red meat.
Fortunately, there are a few fine establishments across the U.S. that will reward your carnivorous fantasies.
If you’re looking for a free meal and have the stomach space to carry 72+ ounces of cow, then drive your foot-powered car to one of our favorite steak eating challenges listed below.
Quick Pre-Game Advice
Newbs often think it’s a good idea not to eat before a huge meal, but this actually shrinks your stomach and makes it harder to finish. Make sure to eat regularly the day before but take it easy on lunch since, unlike a cow, you don’t have four stomachs.
1. The Big Texan Steak Ranch, 72 oz.
This Route 66 steak haven started the whole “free steak movement,” and is based on a throwdown between two real-deal cowboys to see who could eat the most in one hour.
One patron topped off a 72 oz. of steak, baked potato, side salad, shrimp cocktail, and a bread roll in one hour of power. Owner RJ Lee promised a free meal to anyone else who could eat that much, and the steak challenge was born.
2. J & R’s Steak House, 76 oz.
J & R have been ruining diets at six individual locations across the Empire State for over 20 years. This heaping helping of cow meat weighs in at 76 ounces and comes with two sides of your choosing.
If you can climb this mountain of meat, you’ll be rewarded with your name on their wall of fame, along with a free t-shirt bragging of your exploits.
3. Thorny’s Steakhouse & Saloon, 80 oz.
Now you’re in big boy/small bear territory with this 5-pound meat challenge. Cooked to your preference, this thick, juicy slab from Thorny’s in Myrtle Beach (where the surf meets the gluttony) comes served with a side salad, yeast roll, and baked potato.
In addition to a fancy t-shirt, winners will be immortalized with a picture on the wall of fame alongside 47 other elite eaters.
4. Kelsey’s Steak House, 96 oz.
The appropriately titled 6 Pound Challenge was chosen perhaps because the original Kelsey’s Steak House lies on the US Route 6 in Indiana. Or just because it’s a terrifying amount of meat.
The steakhouse has since moved to Valparaiso but still offers the same eat-for-free-in-under-one-hour rules, which you’ll surely be familiar with by the time you tackle this hunk of meat.
5. Gregory’s Steakhouse, 120 oz.
Finally, an establishment with the decency to serve you a steak that weighs as much as an average newborn. Priding themselves on big steaks for people with big appetites, Allentown, PA’s Gregory’s Steakhouse has been offering this 120 oz. Ribeye challenge for over two decades – reportedly the largest in the world.
There’s no time limit, but other than that, it follows regular stake challenge protocol, meaning you’ll have to finish both your sides as well.
On behalf of your colon, please go with the steamed vegetables.