pong-challenge

7 Tips to Make You the Michael Jordan of Beer Pong

Just like Jordan had Pippen, you're going to want to follow suit when you choose your partner and pick someone good.

1. Choose a good teammate

Just like Jordan had Pippen, you’re going to want to follow suit when you choose your partner and pick someone good.

Your teammate should have the hand-eye coordination of Superman and the muscle memory of Batman. Height is also a bonus, since lanky arms can be lethal, for reasons that far exceed the scope of this article.

The only problem is that sometimes the ones that want to win the hardest are the most unbearable.

They argue about the rules, get aggressive out of nowhere, and do this weird thing where they act like the captain of your two-person team.

2. Discover your steez

Find a technique of throwing that works for you. There’s no right or wrong way as long as the ball makes it in the cup. Look to grip the ball well, toss it down, and aim true. Beyond that, keep experimenting if you think your groove’s a long way off. Or drink more, which always helps with experimentation.

pong-blindfolded

This guy is actually right handed. We don’t recommend being this cocky. Photo: peanutian

3. Keep your balls dry and your momentum wet

If your challenger’s ball, by some miracle, doesn’t touch a slimy party floor, a messy collage of spilled drinks and loose papers of scribbled phone numbers, grab it like destiny and send it flying back into the cups of your opponents/enemies after a single bounce.

4. Remember that it’s a drinking game

Beer pong is a well-crafted game made by drunks for drunks. You need to stay loose. Otherwise, a lack of buzz will send some doubts your way.

You want confidence, poise, and swagger. Even when you’re not playing, don’t let your buzz die—or so will your game. Drink like an ox, play like a horse, win like an eagle.

bald-eagle

If you’re looking like this, you’re winning. Photo: Martin Cooper / Flickr

5. Mess with their mind, not their eyeline

Don’t flail your arms like this is a freshman basketball game. It’s a move for kids, who will do it in every game-sport from miniature golf to billiards. By the time a person is in their 20s, they’ve learned to ignore waving hands. Sure, sticks and stones may break your bones, but verbal jabs will take up residence inside an opponent. Bring up missed shots, distract them with comments, and call out how sadly the teams are mismatched in your favor. Put the pressure on and never let go.

6. Never be the worst

Getting screwy with a competitor’s head is part of the game, but it doesn’t have to be a component of the victory or aftermath. If you win, let the game end there—unless the other team said some horrendously bogus things about your family (in which case, by all means, destroy them).

james-bond-street-sign

If you win, be cool about it - like you’re hanging on the corner of James and Bond. Photo: Dan Zen / Flickr

If you lose, don’t flip the table and stomp through the party like you have to take revenge on the entire crowd for simply witnessing your loss.

7. Don’t just party — compete

Playing beer pong at blowout house parties is one of the most fun things you can do. But it won’t always make you a better player.

Like how a fun Saturday night card game doesn’t exactly put you at the big spender table in Las Vegas poker tournaments, you need to try big pressure on for size and see if it fits you.

Check out weekly beer pong tournaments at local bars to become the ultimate all-or-nothing, this-is-it, go-big-or-go-home, Eye-of-the-Tiger, maybe-even-The-Final-Countdown beer pong champion you always knew you could be.