Most people who dislike fast food cite poor taste or quality. But maybe people should steer away from casual dining because maniacs prefer to eat there, and because it’s been the location of a good score of crime.
Here are eight prime examples of glutinous mania this year.
1. A Subway customer Pulled The Ol’ My-Hand-Is-My-Gun Trick
At a Florida Subway, an employee watched as a guy put his hand down his shirt before trying to rob the place like a doofus. When they informed him they knew it was his hand (assumingly with the most eye-roll of tones), his sassy response was, “Yeah, but I have a knife.”
The manager threatened to call the police, so the bad-at-being-a-bad-guy left, only to be caught doing the same thing at the restaurant across the street.
2. After Arresting A Pizza Delivery Guy, Cop Delivered The Pizza
In Oswego, New York, a cop arrested a 19-year-old pizza delivery driver and his buddy on drug-related charges following a routine traffic stop. With an undelivered pizza sitting there, the police officer spotted the order’s destined home on the receipt and delivered it to a super confused customer.
__3. Three Guys Robbed A Build-A-Burger Only To Get Caught Because Of Their Messy Trail __
Three young men robbed the restaurant in Livingston County, New York. Cops inspected the chaotic scene of a cash register and surveillance system parts the morning after their break-in. It apparently took no time at all to find the culprits, since they–with cartoon-like ineptitude–left a steady trail of macaroni salad.
4. DNA Test Proves Chili’s Waiter Spit Into Drinks
A customer came to suspect a less-than-enthusiastic waiter was spitting in his drink (because who hasn’t?), so he took it to get DNA tested. Even though the restaurant’s manager vouched for the server at the time of the accusation, the waiter pled guilty and was sentenced to a one-year conditional discharge.
5. A Man Got Two Years For Selling Fake In-N-Out Burgers
In-N-Out is a beloved west coast treat, and it becomes a destination for anyone visiting. So imagine what kind of money you could pick up if you were running one elsewhere! That was the idea for one guy who got arrested on fraud charges for soliciting $4.3 million from investors to build an In-N-Out franchise in the Middle East, which he absolutely had no approval to do at all.
6. Someone Stole $3,000 Worth of Chicken From KFC
A Toledo, Ohio outpost of KFC had its outside storage shed broken into, with 10 cases of chicken stolen. That’s worth roughly $3,000, which, to put it in more reasonable terms, is the financial equivalent of 203 bargain buckets of chicken and 812 portions of chips. The store manager suspected three disgruntled workers who were recently let go.
7. Customer Assaults Burger King Manager With Chicken Nuggets
Instead of calmly addressing an issue with her food like an adult, a drive-thru customer in Des Moines, Iowa, stormed into her local Burger King and began nailing the manager in the back of the head with chicken nuggets while screaming, “You can give me my [expletive] money back because that [food] is cold.” Cool story.
8. Florida Woman Arrested For Putting On Nude Show At Johnny Rockets
The night before Halloween, one woman had herself a time when she was arrested for indecent exposure, lewd and lascivious behavior, and inciting a riot after dancing naked and pouring ketchup on herself at the burger joint in South Beach. Can’t even imagine what that costume was supposed to be.