9 Great Pies Guaranteed Never To Betray You

Pies will always cheer you up. They’ll listen to your problems, and they’ll never let you down – as long as it’s good pie.

You can make friends with pies. I mean that as both pies being a connection between two people and pies becoming your go-to on bad days. Pies will always cheer you up. They’ll listen to your problems, and they’ll never let you down – as long as it’s good pie.

There’s a lot of terrible pie in the world, so it’s important to know who has a pie that will never betray you. To make things easier for you, here are nine of the best pies in the U.S.

1. Fat Elvis Pie @ Hoosier Mama Pie Company Chicago, Illinois; Evanston, Illinois


Would you say this is the KING of pies? Ha. ha. Photo: @pubikboi / Instagram

Decked out in flavor as a tribute to “The King,” this dirty saint-like tall order comes packed with chocolate, peanut butter, and bananas. The crust is an equally good reason to write home, as it’s a graham cracker-peanut-pretzel hybrid of sugary zen.

2. Black Bottom Banana Cream Pie @ Honeypie Cafe Milwaukee, Wisconsin


I want to befriend the pie and the sweatered cat upon which it sits. Photo: @amyrovin / Instagram

Celebrating classic recipes with modern approaches, this spot’s magnum opus of sweet melds chocolate and banana custards. Then you’ve got graham cracker crust on the bottom and fresh whipped cream at the top. All their pies get made from scratch in small batches, always using locally sourced ingredients. You could be from states away, and you’d still feel at home with one bite.

3. The Drunken Turtle Pie @ Pie Junkie Oklahoma City, Oklahoma


Those turtle pies are getting WASTED in caramel. Photo: @piejunkieokc / Instagram

Fudge, pecans, and salted bourbon caramel run wild here, conjuring up mythical flavors. This pie would be an urban legend if the locals weren’t so adamant you try it. The masterwork looks like a chocolatey oasis where your problems don’t exist. Good luck not whispering your fears and ambitions into it as you accidentally eat the whole thing.

4. Blueberry Cream Pie @ Briermere Farms Riverhead, New York


It won’t be your friend for long because you will eat it. Quickly. Photo: @pixelatedphotos / Instagram

This daydream of a pie is fresh perfection. Fluffy whipped cream hoists up heaps of moist blueberries, held together by a flaky crust. If you’re a berry person, this is how you wished all pies looked like as a kid. And the fact that this is sold only at a little farm stand makes it seem more picturesque Americana.

5. Sweet Potato Pie @ Pie-O-Neer Cafe Pie Town, New Mexico


So. many. pies. to. befriend. Photo: @the_mipster / Instagram

At a real roadside attraction, you’ll find this blessed invention. Whether it’s the molasses version (with molasses, pureed yams, heavy cream, and nutmeg) or the pecan-oat (featuring a sweet potato bottom and a pecan-oat top), this celebrated cafe is your chance to indulge. Comes with a side of small-town friendliness.

6. Michigan 4-Berry Pie @ Achatz Handmade Pie Co. Michigan: Ann Arbor, Armada, Beverly Hills, Chesterfield, Oxford, Shelby Twp, Troy


Ummmmm please find your way to my mouth immediately. kthanksbye. Photo: @chowdowndetroit / Instagram

Despite being a regional chain, these thread of dessert outposts go at their treats with a mom-and-pop dedication, and this is their signature, best-selling pie for a reason. Local tart cherries, blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries team up beneath a heavenly pastry crust that’ll taste as if grandmothers were still setting these things on windowsills to cool.

7. Chocolate Haupia Cream Pie @ Ted’s Bakery Haleiwa, Hawaii


Besties at the beach. #blessed Photo: @awe_sum_ / Instagram

A blessing you can eat, this elegant beauty looks like the dessert movie couples feed each other on balconies the night of their anniversary. It’s rich, smooth dark chocolate custard cream layered with haupia (Hawaiian coconut milk pudding) and topped with whipped cream. It’s a love affair you can eat.

8. Salty Honey Pie @ Four & Twenty Blackbirds Brooklyn, New York


Relationship goals. Photo: @tessafrancine / Instagram

Run by two sisters who learned tricks of the treat trade from their grandmother on a rural South Dakota farm, this shop relies on locally sourced organic ingredients bought according to the season. They want fresh tastes for killer flavors. This local favorite gives you exactly what you hope for and expect, a honey pie topped with sea salt and rounded out with a decorative crust.

9. Lord of the Pies @ Emporium Pies Dallas, Texas


Don’t turn your back on me, pie, I need you! Photo: @snewbird / Instagram

Living up to its punny name (but with a much happier ending, of course), this edible wonder of the world sees ten apples soft-baked into the shop’s homemade caramel. Does it end there? Hell no. Then it’s topped with crispy cinnamon streusel before earning its honorable title by way of a buttery, flaky crust rising lord-like over all that is good.