A Love Letter About Disneyland's Pirates Of The Caribbean

To the Woman I Love:

We always have such a good time together at Disneyland. But amidst the children crying, the long lines, and constantly being surrounded by people, we really don’t get any “us” time when we’re there. I’m planning on changing that on our next trip with 4 simple words: Pirates of the Carribean. Let me explain how.

Before The Ride, We’ll Grab A Romantic Dinner

After a day full of rides in the sun, it’s hard to be romantic when you’re feeling hungry. Luckily there’s The Blue Bayou. As the only full-service restaurant in the park, the Blue Bayou is located in the same facility as the ride. We’ll be treated to a cozy, yet comically artificial al fresco nighttime experience, complete with crickets, frogs, and fireflies. Nothing says “I love you” more than the constant sounds of chirping and ribbits. Perfect for setting the mood.

Full And Ready

Now that we’re full, it’s time for us to have our own, personal pirate adventure. Don’t worry - there will be no blindfolding or walking the plank here (unless you’ve at some point told me that it’s a turn on for you and I have forgotten). At 15 minutes start-to-finish, “Pirates” is one of the longest rides in the Kingdom, allowing us plenty of time to gaze in to each other’s eyes, whisper sweet nothings in to each other’s ears, and for you to tell me all about your day at work and how much you can’t stand Susan.

Are We Being Watched?

At this point, my great listening skills may be such a turn on, that you will want to get a little frisky. But beware! You should know that just because it’s dark doesn’t mean we’re alone - there are cameras everywhere at Disney. Whether being viewed is a turn on or turn off is between me, you, and your Tinder profile, but bare in mind, someone, somewhere is watching.

Second Floor Apartment

You may not know this, but above the ride, on the second floor, is the “Disneyland Dream Suite”, a tricked out apartment where guests occasionally get to stay. Ha, sorry - I didn’t mean to get your hopes up. There’s no way I can afford a place like that. I just knew you’d think it’s cool to know it exists. Let’s just go back to talking and thinking about our boat ride.

Photo courtesy of Disney Parks

Waiting For Empty Boats

I think you’ll agree that our time will best be spent on the Pirates ride if we can get a near empty boat (for perspective, the boats fit up to 24 people).

Not this one. Photo: Goldie / Flickr

I’ve already looked in to this and with the trusty MouseWait app, I’ll be able to determine line times. Our best chances for an empty or near-empty boat will be when the line is less than five minutes.

Oh, my love, I can’t wait to spend this enchanting evening with you.

Love, Me

P.S. I promise this time will be much better than our experience at the Haunted Mansion.