Taylor Swift really hammered home the idea of a “squad.” Sure, ‘friends’ have been around for longer than Swift has, but your close-knit group of friends are just that. A squad, on the other hand, is next-level. Bustle even came up with a solid definition for Squad Goals: an aspirational term for what you’d like your group of friends to be or accomplish.
This definition should also apply to food. Some people are just more compatible when dining together. The balanced food squad elevates your dining experience as much as it does your #foodporn hashtag game. Don’t do yourself the disservice of settling for a crew that is anything less than #GOALS.
Here’s how to craft the ultimate food squad:
1. The Garbage Disposal
The Garbage Disposal of the squad is easily recognizable. They are usually the goofball of the group. Their energy is most likely due to the high amount of carbs being filtered into their body at every meal.
This is the person who doesn’t shy away from a challenge. This person probably has siblings who deprived them of the last slice of pizza far too often as child, and they are making up for it now.
Why you want them on your squad: Not only do they finish their food but if you are unable to finish yours they are more than happy to oblige. They’ll eat just about anything and never complain about the elasticity of their waistband.
2. Your Food Soul Mate
As the name implies, they are someone who completes you in every aspect of your dietary needs. For example, they’ll finish your crust after you’ve had the inside. They eat the burnt fries, whereas you prefer the golden variety. They also tend to share the same preference for spiciness and condiments, which makes sharing a dish even easier.
Why you want them on your squad: Much like a true soul mate, the food soul mate is tough to find. Your tastes must be similar yet distinctly different from one another. When you find your food soul mate, don’t let them go! They make your meal better, you better, and without them your meal would be nothing – you get the point.
3. The Hype Man
Recognized by their contagious smile and laugh that could warm the coldest soul, the Hype Man is the one who keeps us going even when we are ready to throw in the napkin.
Why you want them on your squad: Maybe you were so hungry you ate too quickly and are now beginning to slow down. Perhaps you ate too many fries and found your entree too intimidating.
The Hype Man is there to rev you back up. With a firm pep talk, they get you back in the game and will even shout words of encouragement as you try to re-button your pants at the end of the meal.
4. The Big Spender
They most likely have a stable job, someone else’s credit card or just prefer spending money on food. The Big Spender is the one who doesn’t have to choose between two options – they order both. An appetizer is not even a question, and, of course, they want dessert.
Why you want them on your squad: Did you not hear what I just said? This person is going all in. They are ordering one of everything, and you get to come along for the ride. Don’t ask questions. Hop on the gravy train and make sure you are wearing something comfy.
5. The ‘Grammer
This person is impossible to miss. Before the server has even set a dish down, The 'Grammer’s hands are in motion rearranging the whole layout to get the most drool-worthy photo possible. This person is probably the biggest foodie of the group or, at least, way into their social media persona.
They might own an article of food-centric clothing just to pay homage to their love of food – and their Snapchat story will leave zero questions as to what they have eaten that day.
Why you want them on your squad: Sans having to wait a few minutes to enjoy your food, you ultimately forgive The 'Grammer because their love of food is adorable – and because they substantially boost your followers by giving your shout-outs, which you secretly enjoy.