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Food Court - Sn 1/Ep 2Food Court - Sn 1/Ep 2

The Case for the Love of Licorice

The Case for the Love of Licorice

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Red Vines or Twizzlers? It's a question for the ages, or in this case — the Davises. Can this couple put aside their differences?

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Transcript

- Hello and welcome to Food Court. Our litigants are prepared to enter the courtroom in the case of I heard it through the red vines. This is the plaintiff, Erin Davis. She claims that while hosting a work party at her home, the defendant brought the wrong stuff, embarrassing her in front of her colleagues. This is the defendant, James Davis. He says that they've already talked about this and that he's not sure why they're here and that's pretty much all he has to say about that. So let's watch as our litigants go over the details of this dispute in Food Court. - All right, Mrs. Davis, I've read your complaint. Just to be clear here, you're suing Mr. Davis for a pack of Twizzlers. What's going on? - Okay, well I work for a company and I'm also the social chair and I was throwing our semiannual movie night. It's a pretty fun event. I asked my husband to pick up-- - It's the worst. - I asked him to pick up some snacks. It was a pretty clear list and everything he brought back sucked. - That is a problem. - The most egregious thing though was-- - Wait, let me stop you real quick. You are married, right? - Sure. - Yes. - We'll get back to that. Keep going. - The most egregious thing was he brought home instead of what I requested, Twizzlers, he brought home a tub of Red Vines. - I don't want to put any emotion into this question, please don't read it that way. What is the problem there? - What? Okay, they're like two totally different substances. Twizzlers taste like candy. Red Vines taste like if you, I don't know, chewed up a crayon and spit it onto a tire and then ate that tire. - What you're saying is a real problem. You asked him to get one thing and he got another. But it also seems like there's some kind of underlying issue at play, so please tell me your side of the story. - Okay, so a little bit of back story about me. My parents met in Hawaii. - All right. - Okay, I'll jump forward. I'm a creative person. I'm an entrepreneur and I'm an inventor on the side. - That sounds great. - Part of my process is just driving and thinking of things. - [Judge] Okay. - So I'm driving. I got the Steely Dan on. I'm listening to Reelin' In The Years. I roll down the window. The list blows out the window. So, you know, I decided like Donald Fagen to freestyle and I just shot a jam. I'm lookin', I'm walkin' the aisles and I'm thinkin' what do people like? You know, if they like cold, American light beer, they like red dyed candy. - I mean-- - Is that a crime, your Honor? Am I on trial? - [Mrs. Davis] He should be in prison. - I'm gonna be honest with you, I wish that were a crime, absolutely. - Thank you. - But also, it seems like the big issue here is that you say there's a big difference between Twizzlers and Red Vines? - Because there is. - You say there is not. - Nill, negligible, zero. - I have some evidence. I mean, I think maybe you should taste these because they're so different. - Step back behind there. - I'm sorry about that, I forgot. - Thank you very much. Which one of these is Red Vines and which one is Twizzler, just to be clear? - Taste them and I think you'll know exactly. - Exactly, exactly. You won't know, you won't know. - Those are Red Vines, those are Twizzlers. Those are disgusting, those are delicious. - Those are Twizzlers, those are Red Vines. - I just wanted to be able to know Judge here You're in a room. It's a courtroom. There's a judge. So, it's not just the two of you working out whatever your problems are with the amount of sex you have or don't have or whatever, I don't know. - Nobody brought that up. - Why don't you ask her. - If you're addicted to pills, or you're violent, or I don't even know what's happening. - [Mrs. Davis] That feels like a violation. - All rightoverruled. Please keep your marital issues out of this court. Not only are they not relevant, they are irritating and boring and no one cares. I'm gonna taste these real quick. We haven't gone over this yet. Okay, that's a Twizzler, I remember that from my childhood. - Boom, bitch. - Hang on, no, no. You're not eating those the right way. - How am I supposed to do it? - You should blindfold yourself. Justice is blind. - You're right, justice is blind except this is Food Court. So today, justice is hungry. Excuse me, I'm gonna finish eating the evidence. All right, I had a Twizzler. I know what a Twizzler taste like. I'm gonna say two things here. First of all, the Twizzler is for sure better, but not that much better. - What? - But that's my personal opinion. This is something that has to be figured out between the two of you. You're in Food Court, but honestly I'm gonna say you're in here talking to me about your marriage. You have a bad marriage. - [Mrs. Davis] Okay. - You don't like each other at all. You shouldn't have gotten married in the first place quite frankly, but I'm annoyed by both of you. So I hope you stay in it and this case is dismissed Please leave. - Sorry that I brought this here. I thought it was gonna be like a cute fun thing and instead I feel terrible inside and out. - Great, so samesies. - Walk home. - What? - You can walk home. - You rode here together? Figure it out. - Oh, Mrs. Davis, please. How did that go for you in there? - Are you kidding? It was terrible. It was horrifically embarrassing. - Better luck next time. - Thank you? And for the record, Red Vines taste like a garbage fire. - Well, someone call the garbage firemen 'cause we got a big one. Mr. Davis, how did that go for you in there? - It went poorly, but in the best possible way. - That's great. What do you think is next for ya? - Divorce court. - Okay, well guess I'll see ya soon. That's it for this episode of Food Court. Thanks for watching. And remember, sometimes love doesn't make a licorice of sense.

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